painfully, intimately

It’s been the longest time since I could hold you tight-
Or just a few weeks; it’s all blurry;
Can I manage not for you to fight?

From time to time I would pretend the choice is mine.
I’d walked into hell; ’twas my own knell;
I was foolish thinking I’d be fine.

I took the long view until my God tested me-
Now I’m short-sighted, but I’m trying,
And that’s just the way it has to be.

I used to think that there was something good in me,
But now that’s done with, I’ve been punished,
And I’m waiting just to be set free.

I saw and heard the dazzling clamor of your intimacy — and we indeed accept adversity.